Recommended Divorce Books For Colorado Couples

A few books seem to stand out as especially helpful to Colorado couples and their families going through divorce or finding themselves separating their lives. Nearly all these are available online from Amazon.com’s divorce listings, the Tattered Cover Bookstore in Denver and the Boulder Bookstore in Boulder, as well as other Colorado booksellers.

For your convenience, clicking on either a book’s title or its image will take you to  for more information or ordering.

To read a review of our favorite new children’s divorce book, Was It the Chocolate Pudding?: A Story for Little Kids About Divorce, consider our Colorado Divorce Point! blog article: Chocolate Pudding Brings Peace of Mind.

Books On Personal Challenges Of Divorcee

Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life — Abigail Trafford

An award-winning journalist charts the emotional journey of the breakup of a marriage and suggests ways to cope with personal feelings of loss and failure and with the uncertainty of the future. The author speaks to the special challenges of becoming a single person once again, as well.

Learning to Leave: A Woman’s Guide — Lynette Triere & Richard Peacock

Written primarily from the perspective of women choosing to leave a relationship, this book by a divorce counselor also speaks to both men and women whose partner is initiating the separation. Specific strategies for coping with the breakup of a marriage and managing the tasks of separation and divorce — especially where there may be a power imbalance between the parties — are offered.

Getting Divorced Without Ruining Your Life: A Reasoned, Practical Guide to the Legal, Emotional and Financial Ins and Outs of Negotiating a Divorce — Sam Margulies, Ph.D., J.D.

A “must-read” and compassionate primer on choices in divorce to avoid emotional and financial ruin. An experienced former divorce lawyer turned mediator, the author describes why mediation is (for most couples) the sensible preferred process. Margulies patiently explains the big picture of the economics of divorce; divorce law principles; how divorce lawyers, mediators and other professionals work; and how to negotiate the principal topics required to complete your divorce. Calming, practical, comprehensive.

How To Divorce As Friends — Bill Ferguson

A former divorce lawyer and now nationally recognized relationship coach describes the “cycle of conflict” divorce and separation often create, and provides insight on how to end the conflict and restore cooperation even in the most difficult of relationships.

Books On Co-Parenting After Divorce

Mom’s House, Dad’s House, Making Two Homes For Your Child — Isolina Ricci, Ph.D.

A classic but still relevant and thoughtful guide offering cooperative divorced or never married parents insights and concrete suggestions on how to successfully create and manage two separate homes for their children after divorce.

Children of Divorce: A Developmental Approach to Residence and Visitation — Mitchell A. Baris, Ph.D., & Carla B. Garrity, Ph.D.

Two Boulder psychologists detail, by age, the particular developmental challenges of children in divorced homes. The authors offer specific recommendations on how to lessen the impact of these divorce challenges by age-appropriate timesharing plans. A highly visible and often cited work by Colorado judges and other Colorado divorce professionals, this book may be especially relevant to families with more traditional approaches to, and histories of, parenting involvement. The questions and answers at the back of the book are invaluable to nearly all divorcing parents.

Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce (the Sandcastles Way) — M. Gary Neuman, L.M.H.C.

A comprehensive tour through the divorce maze, with both fictional scenarios and authentic comments and artwork of children of separated parents, illustrating their special needs and concerns. The guidebook of a nationally acclaimed divorce adjustment program, this book richly provides assistance tailored to children’s specific ages.

What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During and After Divorce — Judith S. Wallerstein, Ph.D., & Sandra Blakeslee

Renowned child psychologist Wallerstein provides immediate coping strategies and describes long-term challenges for families of divorce with an age-by-age guide for parents assisting their children with the changes and grief of divorce. Detailed suggestions on how to provide infants and toddlers required immediate assistance and consistency; preadolescent’s necessary empathy; and sometimes manipulative but also emotionally aware teenager’s consistent support.

The Truth About Children And Divorce: Dealing With the Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive — Robert E. Emery, Ph.D.

Nationally recognized divorce researcher, mediator and educator, Dr. Robert Emery, distills his observations as a clinician and therapist, experiences as a divorced father, and his compelling scientific studies from The Center for Children, Families and the Law. A step by step overview for parents of how to manage the toxic feelings of their divorce and forge a positive outcome for their families and children. Insightful and user friendly, with comprehensive tools for workable parenting time schedules, based on parents’ “divorce styles”.We are extremely pleased to host on our website (a web exclusive) Dr. Emery’s “Child Custody Alternative Schedules” — parenting time plans as recommended by children’s ages.

Books For Higher Conflict Parenting Relationships

Custody Chaos, Personal Peace: Sharing Custody with An Ex Who Drives You Crazy — Jeffrey P. Wittman, Ph.D.

Our personal favorite of newer works, this common-sense book lays down a road map to reclaiming your own sanity in a relationship that often feels simply impossible. The author’s focus is on what YOU can do (the “empowerment shift”), with a parenting partner who seems at times intractable or destructive.

Caught In The Middle: Protecting The Children Of High-Conflict Divorce — Carla B. Garrity, Ph.D. & Mitchell A. Baris, Ph.D.

A followup to their work described above, these Boulder, Colorado, psychologists describe the destructive effect of parental conflict on children. The authors examine the uniquely differing origins of persistently conflicted families. Importantly, they offer detailed suggestions, of how particular “types” of high-conflict families can restructure their relationships to better insulate their children from the couple’s personal difficulties.

Books On The Colorado Divorce Process

Friendly Divorce Guidebook for Colorado: Planning, Negotiating and Filing Your Divorce — M. Arden Hauer, M.A., J.D.

A thorough, popular and highly acclaimed overview of the Colorado divorce process and its legal issues, especially suited to Colorado couples committed to mediating their divorce or parenting disputes. Frequently revised, this guidebook addresses the new Colorado divorce forms and changes to Colorado divorce and family law procedure.

Books On Long Distance Parenting

101 Ways to be a Long-Distance SuperDad … or Mom, Too! — George Newman

The geographical separation effected by divorce or a parent’s relocation can, of course, be life-altering for children. This work offers some wonderful, imaginative and practical tips to lessening a move’s impact and promoting the continuation of the parent-child bond.

Books On Fathers And Divorce

Divorced Dad’s Survival Book: How to Stay Connected with Your Kids — David Knox, Ph.D. & Kermit Leggett

While detailing and reaffirming the absolute importance of fathers’ role in children’s lives, this book refuses to denigrate mothers. Instead, the author focuses on the specifics of “what to do” both “when your children are with you” and “when your children are with their mother,” “when you fall in love with a new partner but your children don’t”, etc. Pragmatic in its views on dispute resolution (with a measured list of “Legal Hardball Do’s and Don’ts”), the author urges dads to first seek mediation of their differences and provides surprising detail on the mediation process.

Books For Your Children

Books For Younger Children

It’s Not Your Fault, Koko Bear, A Read-Together Book For Parents & Young Children During Divorce — Vicki Lansky

In this beautifully illustrated and reassuring fable, MaMa and PaPa Bear are pretty darn polite and even-tempered, especially in KoKo’s presence. But real issues are presented as well, and annotations in the small print at the bottom of the text provide meaningful guidance for parents new to the travails and changes of divorce for their family. The author encourages parents to read the book aloud with their children, at both homes.

Dinosaurs Divorce, A Guide For Changing Families — Laurene Krasny Brown & Marc Brown

This award-winning book is a short collection of cartoon-like scenes. The dinosaur family learns how feelings, day-to-day life, and relationships change and evolve with divorce — and yet, all will be okay. Described by another reviewer as an engaging “security blanket” for young children.

Books For Grade School Aged Children

I Don’t Want to Talk About It — Jeanie Franz Ransom & Kathryn Kunz Finney (Illustrator)

With the metaphor of gobbling crocodiles, roaring lions and prickly porcupines, this acclaimed book and its lustrous illustrations affirm children’s free expression of feelings in reaction to their parents’ announcement of their divorce. The animal metaphors assure: lives may change, but the love of their families will persist.

We’re Have Having A Tuesday — DK Simoneau & Brad Cornelius (Illustrator)

Tuesday artfully reassures kids of divorce that their sense of loss of experiences and even special possessions at one home — in moving to the next — is normal, and their sometimes resulting crankiness understandable. A powerful comfort to children in the midst of the persistent transitions that divorce requires of them.

Books for Pre-Adolescents & Older

Why Are We Getting A Divorce? — Peter Mayle, Illustrated By Arthur Robins

Like no other, this clever, now out-of-print (but still often available) book brilliantly tackles with great humor (illustrations and text) such mysteries and topics as “Why Your Parents Got Married”, “Parents Need All the Help They Can Get” and “At Last the Good News.”

Divorce Is Not the End Of The World: Zoe’s And Evan’s Coping Guide For Kids — Zoe & Evan Stern

A 15 year old girl and her 13 year old brother (with the help of their accomplished author mother) share a dialog regarding all the important issues: including, for example, “Where’s My Stuff,” “Telling Your Friends” and the beloved “Why Are You Making Me Go To That Stupid Support Group?” Especially insightful are these engaging kids’ “Quick Tips.”

Books With More Authoritative Analysis

Surviving the Breakup: How Children and Parents Cope with Divorce — Judith S. Wallerstein, Ph.D. & Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D.

A classic revelation of the findings of the landmark study, Children of Divorce Project. Co-authored with Judith S. Wallerstein, this book by acclaimed divorce researcher (clinical psychologist, mediator, educator) Dr. Joan B. Kelly details the importance of what happens after the divorce, affirms the importance of father-child relationships regardless of the frequency of contacts, and examines the persistent nature of children’s reaction to these changes in their lives. As noted earlier, we are fortunate to have Dr. Kelly’s collaboration in including on this website her “Child Custody Parenting Plan Options (for Children of School Age)” (reflecting the latest divorce research as well as that reported in this earlier primer). This feature has been chosen as a “Best of the Net” by an independent divorce guide.

For Better Or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered — E. Mavis Hetherington & John Kelly

This recent book challenges the sweeping and uniformly dark conclusions of some other researchers. A comprehensive and heralded study (involving more than 1400 families), this scholar concludes that the divorce experience is for a significant number of families a necessary passage and an ultimately healing experience, with positive effects even for children.

After Divorce Books

Learning from Divorce: How to Take Responsibility, Stop the Blame, And Move On! — Christine A. Coates, J.D., & E. Robert LaCrosse, Ph.D.

Two Colorado divorce professionals, divorce attorney-mediator Coates and child custody and parenting evaluator-mediator Lacrosse, artfully provide tools for the sometimes painful, always challenging and often rewarding work of self-examination — in the aftermath of divorce. They urge the reader to: consider their role in choosing their partner and in the relationship’s “breakup,” discard the limiting myths of marriage, understand the divorce grieving process, shed old patterns of blame and rediscover the authentic self.“We don’t have the luxury of Bill Murray’s character in [the movie] Ground Hog Day,” the authors remind us. (There aren’t unlimited chances in real life to perfect our approaches to meaningful relationships.) Learning From Divorce provides powerful insight and practical direction in the how of rebuilding after, and even growing from, the often dark experience of divorce.